New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
