I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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