Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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