not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just high enough for therapy.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
why does every cop we meet know your name?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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