she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
