I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize