She's JV to your varsity
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
