I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize