If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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