Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You are the jesus of drinking
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
