Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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