Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
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