in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
