fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
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I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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