forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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