so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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