I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
