and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
