fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Church boner. Awkwardddd
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize