its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
