i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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