HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
