...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
