I heard we made out
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
