if you like me you must not know who I am
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My balls are so social today.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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