yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
