Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
