that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
