This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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