Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
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he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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