Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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