11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
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I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
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