Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
