What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
