Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
