She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
