it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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