There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
