You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
