So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
