it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Randomize
