My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i tasted like america
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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