He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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