Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
