So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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