Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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