toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
i believe in u and ur pee
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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