Sacagawea was the original milf.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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