That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.