some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
