if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
