just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
