Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
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he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
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Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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