i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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