so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
