idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
