ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
