I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
