where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
