hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
