battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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