I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
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I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
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that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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